It went something like this:
I have to write something. I’m going to do it now. But first I’ll check Twitter and email and make sure there are no emergencies that need dealt with…and oh look, someone’s posted the President’s speech from the White House Press Corps Dinner…OMG that’s hilarious. And oh, look there’s a link to Joel McHale’s speech too…ah that was great.
Oh. Now it’s an hour later than it was. But that’s OK I can still write.
But maybe I’d better eat lunch first. Yum!
OK, I’m really going to write. What am I going to write about? WHAT CAN I POSSIBLY WRITE ABOUT OH GOD I’M NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TOWRITEANTOHERSTORYEVERYAGAINOHGOD…Wait. The prompt was about ‘shame’. That seems like a good emotion to mine. [Whine] But I don’t WANNA write about shame, it’s so serious and I want to write something funny and wahwahwahwah, wait. Isn’t comedy just tragedy+time? Aren’t some of the funniest stories I’ve ever heard based in horror? OK then.
BUT HOW AM I GOING TO START THIS, WAHHHHHH. Describe the setting. Talk directly to the reader. It’s just a start. Youc an always edit it out later.
Hey, this is fun.
[500 words later] OK, this is still fun, but I’m not getting anywhere. Nothing’s happening, I need to make something happen OMG I CAN’T MAKE ANYTHING HAPPEN, THIS ISN’T A STORY, THIS IS JUST A SERIES OF CLEVER WORDS, I’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO WRITE A STORY AGAIN WAHHHH
[250 words later]OK this is starting to go somewhere. But now I’m getting tired and I’m not sure I’m going to be able to finish, but if I take a break I might never get back to it and then it’ll just be another in the long sad history of unfinished stories that litter my path through life and oh God I’m a horrible person…
Let me just type this up and see what happens.
Wait, I think I know how to end this. If I can just get through typing up everything I wrote, I might have a chance of making this work.
OK, that’s a horrible, terrible sentence, but I’m going to leave it in because it gets me from here to there and lets me power on towards the end. I’ll fix it in the read through.
Oh, wait, this is going really well. Shut up, you in the back of my mind there. I KNOW it’s not perfect, but it’s starting to have shape and I know how it’s going to end, and I know what the important emotions are and dammit, it’s a story.
And it’s done.
And now i’m a little sad.